Red, Red, Red

Your beauty distracts me

Your springtime rose has entangled me in its thorns

And when the depths of winter came

There I stayed

With my gaze facing the dirt

I slowly lift my head

And my Father comes to set me free

And when I realize I am free

I see another beauty

This time a deer

And I run from my father's house

To catch it

To keep it

To kill it

And I hunt

With blood as my prize

And when I succeed

I may be reminded by that deep red shade

Of the rose

And of my Father

And of my Savior

But now I am lost

End of Summer

All the girls downtown wear their big boots

And I can't help but be reminded of your little feet

All the girls downtown wear their short skirts

And I can't help but be reminded of your pajama pants

All the girls downtown dye their hair

And I can't help but be reminded of "Stacks of Wheat (End of Summer)"

And its pure color

All the girls downtown aren't you

Bury Me

Please listen to Bury Me. It's a poem/drama/piano piece. Thanks.
http://www.myspace.com/brainchildfixative

A Springtime Psalm

Shine on me O God
for the wind is on my left
and your sun is on my right

Calm me O Lord of Peace
let your sun warm my chest
let it fill my head with pure thoughts
tan my skin with your grace
melt my heart of stone with your heaven fire
open the dark skies and let your spring arrive
lift up the flowers that tell your sovereignty and providence
bud the trees with your righteousness and plant their roots firm in the beauty of your creation
let your forgiving rivers overflow onto the dry barren fields
and let them produce fruit
let them produce fruit

-by Brantley

It All Comes Down to It

I need to be reminded of love everyday. Without it I am nothing. I need to ask myself this question every day: Are you loving? And if I am not, I am not doing anything.
We need more love.
Love is the most shocking, surprising, uplifting substance on earth.
We need more of it. It's obvious.
All of my problems are a result of a lack of love on my part or on someone else's part.
I need more of it. We need more of it. It's obvious.
I remember the times when real love has been shown to me. It has lifted my heavy head and has healed my spirit's deep wounds. It has awakened me from a dying sleep.
We need more it. It all comes down to it.
But where do we find it? From ourselves? From God? And what if while we are looking there are other things that look a lot like it but aren't it?
This is confusing. There are a lot of things (especially in my culture) that are known to be love but are not love.
Well, here are some good guidelines to know what love is and where it comes from.
Love is Patient.
Love is Kind.
It does not envy.
It does not Boast.
It is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way.
It is not irritable or resentful.
It does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things.
Love does not end.

I need more of it.
I believe that God is Love. I believe that in every way He has acted with perfect love. And somehow he has gifted it to humans. So that we may spread it. And by spreading it we are spreading Him. And even if you spread it to someone who does not believe in God they will know Him because it is in them. They were made in His image. And His image is love.
We need more of it.
It all comes down to it.

Children, War. Same Sentence.

Today I woke up at 11am. I proceeded to go outside and where a t-shirt. It was 73 degrees. It looked like it might rain. I threw a sweater in my bag along with headphones, some tortilla's and a sleeping bag. Everything you could possibly need for a good old fashioned protest. Then I headed downtown to The Rescue which is an awareness campaign for ending children being used as soldiers in Uganda. It was put on by Invisible Children which I am sure many, if not all, of you have heard of. The goal was simply to get media attention and to get celebrities, politicians, and others of high social status to come and "Rescue" us. It was cool. It looked like there about 1000 or so people there. It was 3:30pm. and it was 73 degrees and cloudy.
I got on the train. Headed downtown. Got off the train (believe it or not) and ended up meeting some friends who were already there. Within 15 minutes we were marching around the city holding on two a rope like we were preschoolers in single file. People were stopping us to ask what it was for and one of us (mainly my friend Kirsten) would kindly explain what all the hub-ub was about.
About 15 minutes into our walk it started to rain a little bit. But everyone agreed how much they missed being outside, comfortable and wearing t-shirts when it rained. Even though it was a really heavy thing that we were marching for... we were having fun. We arrived after marching about 1 mile or so at Buckingham Fountain. There was a pause in line movement. I had been doing a lot of thinking about why I was even there most of the day and so I decided to bring up a couple of things that were on my mind with my friends. I conveyed how disconnected I felt with the whole thing. How could I even begin to understand children fighting a war? That does not make any sense to me. That is beyond cruelty that I know of. I have heard of many cruel things. But the closest thing that I personally know of is probably just neighborhood punks stealing my bike when I was 12.
We didn't really talk about it too long but I felt like there were other people there who could sympathize with me. Not that I needed any sympathy. I don't.
Then, it started to really rain. And when I say rain... I mean I have lived on the earth for 21 years and have maybe felt rain and wind this strong 1 other time. And then it got colder. There was a moment where we all looked at each other and commented as to how it felt like it got 15-20 degrees colder instantly. It got down to 42 degrees without windchill in the matter of a half hour and then it rained even harder. Then it stopped. and then... a nameless friend (KIRSTEN!!!!!!) found a tarp in her bag. She swore she didn't know though so its okay. But I'm still pissed.
Needless to say, I was beyond miserable. My hands were numb. Every inch of my body was soaking wet. My shoes were puddles. And we were standing in an open field by a giant lake on the brink of a tornado.
After a couple hours I couldn't take it. I left with the intention of coming back after eating something because I also had only eaten a couple tortilla's for my entire days diet. After leaving my group I just up and left the whole thing. I went to Chipotle and then went straight home. Got in the hottest shower I have ever taken, listened to Bon Iver and relaxed.
And some of you may see where I am going with this.
Lets go back to my thoughts earlier. Truly connecting with this cause was almost impossible for me. I am so used to immediately ready showers, warmth, food and not to mention kindness from all of my christian friends that children fighting a war on the other side of the world must not be true.
But it is....
and I am not sure what to do with that. But today at least made me think.... and that's good and all. But these are heavy thoughts. Children, War. Same Sentence. And where am I? I'm taking hot showers and relaxing after being miserable for a mere 2 hours. I'm concerned with my new song sounding too much like Bon Iver because I have been listening to him so much.
But honestly, the worst part is that I am probably not going to change. I like being comfortable. So I'll ignore the homeless, the broken-hearted, the depressed, the child soldiers etc. until I grow up and become a man. There is so much more that should go into this but I feel a little overwhelmed by it right now. Peace. (thats ironic)

For My Two Followers!

I have written some poetry/lyrics from the past weeks that is beginning to take shape. As a first real post of thoughts, here they are.

Wake Up Darling

Wake Up
He dewed the grass in our front yard
He woke the sun and murdered dark

Let's Walk
Talk between the gusts of wind
walk home to wake our sleeping kids

Back up
to waterfall, to park bench
to love made, to first kiss
Back Up
to beach walk, to stay warm
to late night, to big storm

Wake Up,
to calm skin and a water glass
to bagged eyes and aching back

Wake Up
to white, plain, blank ceiling
to a cold sweat, to clenched fists, to bit lip, to held tongue, to red eyes, to bird's sarcastic, cynical-in-your-face songs.

So I'm waiting till dawn to fall Asleep
For if love is like war than bury me